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Why I have a Hard Time Seizing the Day

Larrylambert
3 min readAug 17, 2024

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The day can be pretty hard to seize.

Cartoon by Lambert-Allen

I’m not a morning person. People who jump out of bed ready to bolt into action annoy me. They want to grab life by the horns. Personally, I prefer to sneak up on life and hope it doesn’t gore me. I find it easier to sneak up on life later in the day. Unfortunately, some people confuse that quality with laziness.

To avoid that misconception, I’ve researched some ideas you can use to make sure people don’t make that mistake. Here are some excuses for not accomplishing anything during the day. You’re welcome.

The earth’s gravitational pull is exceptionally strong on me.

I don’t know why it is, but gravity seems to have singled me out for special attention. It’s like the force and Luke Skywalker. Of course, in this case, the effect makes it hard for me to move. It also accounts for my weight gain.

I got caught up watching motivational videos and time got away from me.

Yea, right. I might watch motivational videos, but if I do, it will be to provide fodder for a satirical piece. I would watch motivational videos in much the same way the guys on Mystery Science Theater watch bad movies.

The Weinermobile has…

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Larrylambert
Larrylambert

Written by Larrylambert

You probably don't know my name, but have likely seen my work. I've written for numerous syndicated cartoon strips and my gags have appeared in national pubs.

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