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The Geriatric Olympics
The Tokyo Olympics may be in doubt, but the Geriatric Olympics are always ongoing.
Because of the coronavirus, the Tokyo Olympics are in doubt. Regardless of whether those Olympics are held, we can watch the Geriatric Olympics, which are always going on all around us. When I was young, I played a lot of sports and was fairly good at them. As I’ve gotten older, what passes for sports and athletic activity has changed. With that in mind, here are the Geriatric Olympics:
The Five Meter Bathroom Sprint: The stakes are high when a sense of urgency hits and you’re away from the bathroom. Participants are judged on how quickly they get to the commode. While no medals are given for this event, winners and losers are easy to distinguish.
Channel Surfing: Seniors sit in front of the TV all day and score points based on the programs they watch. Programs like Murder She Wrote, Matlock, and The Golden Girls are big point producers. Bonus points are scored by watching shows about conspiracy theories. Scoring by watching this last category is done at the participant’s risk. The participate watches those programs at the risk of losing IQ points.
Equestrian Quiz: Fortunately, this event doesn’t actually require getting on a horse. Instead, seniors are shown pictures of animals and asked to pick out which one is a horse. Winners get to stay with…
