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The FBI’s Secret Files on Looney Toons Characters
These guys aren’t as innocent as they seem.
We’ve laughed at their antics for years, but beneath the humourous, seemingly harmless facades of our favorite cartoon characters lurks an ominous dark side. I was able to get the scoop on these guys through The Freedom of Misinformation Act. That’s right, I’m slinging random half and totally untrue statements to get you to click on my story, but hey, you’re here. In for a nickel, in for a dollar. Here’s a look at what those bogus FBI files had to say about different Loney Tunes characters.
Elmer Fudd: Beneath the hunting ineptitude and sloppy speech lies the heart of a troubled man. Fudd is an ardent member of the NRA. Elmer’s total lack of success hunting rabbits with a rifle has led him to become a huge advocate of automatic and semi-automatic assault weapons. At a recent NRA rally, Fudd was noted to have said, “Now that I have this AK-47 wifle, I’ll get that wiley wabbit.” Interestingly enough, Fudd was the only one at the NRA rally asked to wear a mask. Not out of concern for safety, other ralliers were just tired of being spat on.
Pepe Le Pew: The FBI has long had this guy under surveillance due to his record of numerous unwanted sexual advances. Restraining orders have proven to be ineffective when dealing with Le Pew. The situation has gotten to the point…
