Member-only story
Hey Superheros, Loosen Up
Your angst is bringing me down.
Ever notice how superheroes never seem to be happy? They’re always brooding about something. Maybe it’s because so often their parents have been murdered. Admittedly, that’s a tough one to shake off but you would think they would enjoy the perks of their superherodom a little bit more.
We’ll consider three superheroes, Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. Of those three, Spider-Man has the least to work with. Sure, web-slinging is cool, plus Peter Parker/Spider-Man is super smart and strong but his super range seems more limited than that of his two counterparts. How would he impress girls with his super smarts? Would he do some ciphering like Jethro Bodine? Make a casual display of his strength? That could come across as nerdy or showboating. Take her for a ride while he slings webs somewhere? That could be cool, but also pretty traumatic.
It might make life easier if he monetized his superpowers. Perhaps he could afford the occasional getaway. Maybe even professional help to deal with anxiety. Spider-Man seems like he can never let himself relax.
Batman is a really interesting case study. As Bruce Wayne, he could really party. Plus he had an awesome car and all kinds of cool gadgets. Still, it’s always, brood, brood, brood. The villains Batman faced always seemed to have more fun than he did…
