Animals Who Could Use Some Cosmetic Help

Maybe wearing clothes would help.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

Let’s start with baboons. Their rear ends are telethon-worthy. I don’t know if Preparation H would help or not, but it would be worth a try. If these poor guys have any self-awareness at all, they need help. Cosmetic surgery would be a costly option. Maybe a second option could be employed. Like getting some pants for these poor guys. Maybe that way they could keep a shred of self-respect and not have to back away from other animals.

Having the rear end of a baboon and living around laughing hyenas has got to be a challenging way of life.

For hippos, there is no easy fix. They could start with a Jenny Craig program to do something about their girth, but even that would be of limited value. They could go from big and ugly to smaller and ugly. I’m not sure that’s worth putting the work in. Perhaps, of bigger concern are the poor social skills of hippos.

Hippos are dangerous. They are very territorial and will attack humans. Maybe it comes from a lack of self-esteem based on their appearance. In addition, they pass gas through their mouth. It would seem conversation isn’t their strong suit. Maybe the best thing they could do would be to use some Gas-X.

Snakes have some beautiful colors, but they, like the hippo aren’t renowned for their…